if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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