it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
