I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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