They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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