Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize