i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
