Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
