I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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