Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
