He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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