i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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