Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
