Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm really busy with my period
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