please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
