she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
