My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize