Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hippo gnu deer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
