piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
