I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
