Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
