It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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