you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize