Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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