so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
