And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
