My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize