Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
