Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
