Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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