did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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