I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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