At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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