do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
