I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize