im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
