i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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