you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
