How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
