I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
