dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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