Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
