i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize