never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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