its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
