where does the pee come out of this thing
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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