Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
