whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
