We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
