Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she peed on how many people?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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