Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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