dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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