My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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