He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
