i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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