I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize