We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
