Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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