dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
