The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize