hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
