My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
