this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
